I, Chairman Mao’s Cultural Revolution, Would Like Some Credit for Your Attempt to Destroy the…Hey! Psst! Elon, Donald — over here! Fellas, it’s me, the Cultural Revolution. You know, the mass movement led by Chairman Mao that sent…Mar 4Mar 4
Published inSlackjawAirbnb Reviews for Riverview Hospital East Wing Floor 2 Inpatient Ward BClean, friendly hosts, convenient in-room bathroom. At $11,500/night without insurance, though, it’s a bit pricey for what you get.Oct 30, 20231Oct 30, 20231
Published inSlackjawFrequently Asked Questions About Your New Vegetable GardenHave you asked your plants whether they want more water, or are you just projecting your own feelings onto them?Aug 27, 20212Aug 27, 20212
Published inSlackjawHello To My New Georgia Neighbors!I’m moving to Georgia because I really want to live in Georgia, and not at all because there is a special election.Dec 28, 20203Dec 28, 20203
Chinese Food for the Real Patriotic AmericanWhen France refused to support the US invasion of Iraq in 2003, Republicans in the House of Representatives changed “French fries” to…Dec 13, 2020Dec 13, 2020
Should I Do My Laundry? A Game Theoretic ApproachThere comes a time in a man’s life when he faces a monumental choice: he has only one pair of clean underwear left, yet he desperately…Oct 1, 2018Oct 1, 2018
As a Cheeto, I am Offended by the Frequent Comparisons to Donald TrumpIt has come to my attention that numerous commentators have disparagingly referred to President Donald Trump as a “flamin’-hot Cheeto.” As…May 25, 20171May 25, 20171
Donald Trump Takes Credit for My RisottoEight years ago, my kitchen was bleak. My pantry was empty and my life felt like it was in shambles. I needed to be able to cook a dish…Jan 26, 2017Jan 26, 2017
It Appears That I’ve Goofed on My Pronouns!Oh boy! This election season has gotten me all riled up about America. It sure has been a confusing and interesting time — so confusing, in…Oct 31, 2016Oct 31, 2016
The Chinese Government Writes a 5-Year Plan for My Life“The 13th 5-Year Plan period is a decisive stage in comprehensively building a moderately prosperous society. We must conscientiously…May 5, 20161May 5, 20161
